Vivek Koshy

Poem · 2010-07-06

Untitled II

 Sleep calls back, an eye agrees; the summers relief pours, the music; play on. A dream awaits, my slumber; and the wake mind, fears tomorrow. Slowly rise- touch it with your shadows. Serene. Life is not what it seems, the mind believes; youth plays games, the dreams; go on. My forerunners hopes long for, my struggle; and my jumped mood, thinks too much. Go down- wait there. Silent. Footprints in the sand, are stamped again; while the drops tug; among, the same vessel.

Responses

19 preserved

Ms. Gruye

your writing style is sparse, but not too much. you use your words sparingly, as if each one costs you a price beyond currency. the result is very effective and straight forward. I cannot tell you my favorite lines because this whole piece works together, I am unable to let any line live on it's own. what a tremendous talent you possess.

16 Years Ago

wordman

the thoughts and dreams of a reluctant sleep mixed with a little despair and unknowing

12 Years Ago

jacob erin-cilberto

this feels like saying life never changes for me. i keep having dreams and hopes...but somehow they get rained upon...and i end up waiting, silent again and again...hoping things can get better...and my life can match my dreams.

12 Years Ago

Chong N. Kim

I love your style of writing, I like the mystery in trying the yearness that I feel when I read your lyrics. :)

13 Years Ago

An owl on the moon

A drifting, dreamish write of longing and looking for more... that hope that life has hidden treasures awaiting, even if in sleep... Such a visual work.

15 Years Ago

Lourisa

A Lovely abstract piece. You do have a way with words, don't you?

15 Years Ago

Tasha

My forerunners hopes long for, my struggle; and my jumped mood, thinks too much. This was amazing!

15 Years Ago

Undying Glory

very good work here, nice job. as thought-provoking as the previous one, maybe even better! now that's some vivid and surreal work! "A dream awaits, my slumber; and the wake mind, fears tomorrow." now those really were strong verses. awesome!

15 Years Ago

E.H. Monroe

"Footprints in the sand, are stamped again; while the drops tugs;among, the same vessel." I just shot a verbal wad. I feel like you owe me dinner and dancing. Gotta expand and drop some spoken word on an unsuspecting word. I can hear all the big yells and stops all over this thing. Get a stage, if you havent already and light the fucking place on fire. Well done

15 Years Ago

H. A. M.

again..this feels like your writing from the NOW...by that I mean you are able to capture the moment right now......this is good!...and I like it!....keep writing bro!

15 Years Ago

abby2011

p.s im referring to: life is not what it seems...you dont need to say that. keep the tantalising mystery of your frame of mind evolving..its a great journey to go on!

15 Years Ago

abby2011

i think you iterate too much here. you tell us what you want us to know by being direct and yet it is in your simplicity and directives (descriptions of emotions) in which we gauge that anyway. its good no doubt but less is more. you have all the intensity and feeling. it IS visible. i think you're worried it's not

15 Years Ago

Helen Crutchett

Wow, beautiful write, obviously from a poet who knows his craft. Bravo!

15 Years Ago

Goodbye

I love your style and imagery, Vivek! So beautiful, so painful, and I think that anyone whose wrestled with feelings, existence and its meaning can connect with your writing. So very well-done.

15 Years Ago

Sabista Khan

I must say, you do have a flair for words. Your poems possess a melancholy feeling that is really touching..

15 Years Ago

Silent Kim aka mizmetap..

your writing style is abtractly inticing. Your words cry pain and longing. Again your words deserve a title. I use to live my poems untitled and realize they just become numbers in a pile.

15 Years Ago

Sarah McConnaughey

This is very beautifully written. I really like your way of writing poems. Great job. :)

16 Years Ago

nono

This is interesting, and haunting in a good way. It's beautifully written and very descriptive. You captured the emotions nicely good job!

16 Years Ago

Ice QueenJen

This was an usual way of writing, like you combined lots of poems or thoughts into one poem. Like when your asleep your subconscience floats from thought to thought of what went on that day. I do like it and this piece makes a person stop and think, what is to come when finally waking up. good job again!

16 Years Ago